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About Literature / Hobbyist Miles W.Other/Canada Recent Activity
Deviant for 2 Years
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Spandy- Be A Man
Be A Man
Summary: When Patrick abandons SpongeBob for a religious cult, Sandy decides to stay and help him climb Mt. Humongous. But tensions rise when the debate on what a man truly is bubbles to the surface.
Rated: T for Teen; 13+
Characters: Patrick, SpongeBob, Sandy
Pairing(s): Spandy, slight PatBob
Genre: Romance/ Drama
Word Count: 7, 947
Earlier that day he had been at Sandy’s, or what she called the ‘’Treedome’’, which was, as its name suggested, a tree from land inside a snow globe-like structure. She invited him over to test her jet-pack that she demonstrated that morning, which only malfunctioned slightly seeing as it was still a prototype, before the news of the coming eruption broke all over town. SpongeBob wanted to see if it would be sturdy enough to transport two people—only two for now, because Sandy had refused his offer to join his team, but he decided to use the opportunity during th
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 19 17
Gather to Mourn Her
One day she left town with nothing but the clothes she was wearing
Perhaps reckless and sudden, but not uncaring
Maybe she had a suitcase but she packed her bags, up and left
Of her dignity and conviction, she felt wildly bereft
The bus came by and she got on, and that’s when it all began
Upon impulse or intuition, I suspected discord and ran
I told my best friend, ‘’We have to find her before she leaves for good,’’
By his quiet nature, he rightly believed in my will, that which he understood
We thought she’d be there, under her umbrella, waiting for us
But the bench was empty, there in the pouring rain, and we knew she left on the bus
‘’She’s gone,’’ he said, but though I felt tears choking me I refused to accede to wrath
We tried to follow her tracks, walk on her path
We knew she was going home
‘Where was she?’ we wonder’d, ‘Out there in the cold, preferring to haplessly wander and roam?
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 19 11
SquidwardXPatrick- Turtle Totem
Turtle Totem
Summary: Turtles, duh. In all seriousness, Patrick tells Squidward the backstory behind his beloved sea turtle necklace.
Rated: T for Teen; 13+
Characters: Patrick, Squidward
Pairing(s): Squidrick (Patward?)...still not sure which one’s correct ;v;
Genre: Romance/ Drama/ Hurt/ Comfort/ Friendship
Word Count: 6, 599
SpongeBob was visiting his parent’s house that Sunday and so Patrick had nothing to do but lounge around in his underwear. He didn’t feel like T.V. so he went outside at the crack of dawn to watch the sun rise from the front lawn of his house. He loved nothing more than tuning out all modern distractions to feel like he was one with Mother Nature, in his underwear, no less. Of course, he didn’t count on Squidward being outside that day, sunbathing, which Patrick always felt was useless. The man had no color to him, no matter what he did. As Patrick came outside, he tried to ignore Squidward
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 13 11
Know Your Worth
Yeah I never liked that old washer machine anyway
It never made me look like much
Shrunk too tight and faded colors to grey
Like thorns, too afraid to touch
But a mirror lined inside of the door
Showed me a different story
Now I ain’t afraid anymore
And that’s my allegory
Know your worth, yeah, baby
Know your worth
Ya’ll just gotta know your worth under the skin
And the world don’t take that away
One night I was up drinkin’ too late
Stumblin’ along the back road
Maybe it was will or just bad fate
But I gathered what I sowed
And then them trees was whisperin’:
‘’Don’t you dare slow down, boy’’
Maybe just my imagination but I was listenin’
And I felt no deeper joy
Know your worth, yeah, baby
Know your worth
Ya’ll just gotta know your worth under the skin
And the world don’t take that away
My sister wore her wedding dress
To her husband’s funeral
I’d say ‘’God Bless’&
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 5 0
Blue lips and yellow nail polish
Glamour and confidence
She came as no novice
Young as she was, still yet in adolescence
Green lips and orange nail polish
Men who trailed her garments
Complete manhood, decadence
In French, they proclaimed her, ‘’A goddess!’’
Purple lips and red nail polish
To the island’s populous
She rose to prominence
But then one day no one ever saw her again.
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 4 0
Reflections in Doorknobs
I spent my whole life looking at reflections in doorknobs
A reflection I don’t see
Distorted and appearing in the most surprising of places
Two days ago on a rainy day in a Paris bar
We spoke of music
He offered me his CD
I listened to his song on repeat on the flight back home
I’d thank him again for such a nice gift
Happy to wish him a welcome in France
And a good return in his land
I spent my whole life looking at reflections in doorknobs
A reflection I don’t see
Distorted and appearing in the most surprising of places
Walls—think marble and stone
Ain’t no shadows on them walls tonight
Nobody walks through the door
Dust in the tub
And mama’s blue apron soiled with rain
‘Cause the milkman don’t come by no more
Oooooh oooooh
I spent my whole life looking at reflections in doorknobs
A reflection I don’t see
Distorted and appearing in the most surprising of places
The next time we meant he gave me a box
But he told me not to op
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 7 6
SquidBob/PatBob- 30/90
Summary: It’s SpongeBob’s twenty-fifth birthday, prompting Squidward to end their relationship.
Rated: T for Teen; 13+
Characters: Patrick, SpongeBob, Sandy, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Pearl
Pairing(s): SquidBob, PatBob, uuuuuh Golden Trio  
Genre: Romance/ Drama/ Hurt/ Comfort/ Friendship
Word Count: 6, 777
You come upon a bird in a pretty cage
You feel all its sadness, all its rage
A latch to open doors with moving parts
You hold the key but you just walk away
And life is much harder than you thought
Love can't be tamed and it can't be caught
And still it sings a song for your heart
You decide you want its wings, so you cut them off
And still it sings a song for your blackened heart
You decide you want its wings, so you cut them off
And life is so much harder than you thought
You come upon a bird in a pretty cage
This time you will help it to escape
A latch to open doors with moving parts
You turn the key and watc
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 17 20
Mature content
SquidBob- Touch Me :iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 21 22
Mature content
SquidBob- The Taste of Honey :iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 16 15
Soundness of Monsters
Who knows the hearts of dragons
For they fall as leaves in Autumn
Once a year, one by one
No one knows if their hearts will ever love again
If they ever loved at all
Perhaps they only played and bantered
Fooling even the most fair of maidens and brave of knights
Into believing they weren't worn
Or bloodthirsty for their offspring
And for battle, which abides encumbrance
Yet not even the wise woman knows which burden lay heavy in their hearts of steel
Or hearts of flesh
But if one were to look at flowers in the mirror
A reflection in the lake which bore blossoms
Each petal floating, although one but which drowned
Watch as it disappears as the dragons did
And no one will ever know for certain whether they existed among Man
If they lived once then they perished as we all do
Just a breeze that floats by but is never seen again
Forgotten and left to roam the earth as a lonely cloud  
And someday the earth must die as the Lord wills it
And rockets must never land on the moon
But Man
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 11 4
SquidBob- True Art
True Art
Summary: The Mayor of Bikini Bottom commissions Squidward to carve a sculpture of SpongeBob to honor his heroism in saving their town.
Rated: T for Teen; 13+
Characters: SpongeBob, Squidward, the Mayor
Pairing(s): SquidBob, slight Squandy
Genre: Romance/ Drama
Word Count: 4, 598
A month passed after the near eruption.
During Bikini Bottom’s Reconstruction period, the Mayor had asked Squidward into her office on a Sunday afternoon (which he was more than happy to oblige—after all, if the Mayor personally requests you, it must be important) and to his gratification, she offered him a commission. He perked up at the word ‘’commission’’, thinking this was his long-deserved reward for organizing that stupid concert, but his parade was soon rained on by the mention of the name ‘’SpongeBob’’. Of course. Any shard of happiness he ever had always had to be spoiled
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 16 22
PlanktonXKaren- The Sun Goes on Rising
The Sun Goes on Rising
Summary: Karen and Plankton spend the last night of the world together.
Rated: T for Teen; 13+
Characters: Plankton, Karen, SpongeBob
Pairing(s): PlanktonXKaren
Genre: Romance/ Drama
Word Count: 3, 260
Karen had been watching SpongeBob, unbeknownst to him, crouched safely behind a rock in Jellyfish Fields. She watched the young man walk through the grass slow and sad, shoes dangling at his side in one hand, his white socks now stained green at the soles of his feet. She didn’t mean to spy on him, but she had been on her way home that evening, but decided to take a detour in the opposite direction. She heard the high and lonesome sound of her husband coming for her to bring her home to his laboratory, and not wanting to face him just yet, she hid in Jellyfish Fields where she happened upon the little yellow sea sponge in his plaid shorts, polka dot tie, and yellow schoolboy sweater vest. She always had a soft
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 19 29
Mature content
SquidBob- Gentlemen Prefer Sponges :iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 10 16
SquidBob- Flowers
Summary: Squidward nurses SpongeBob back to health in the aftermath of Mt. Humungous.
Rated: T for Teen; 13+
Characters: Squidward, SpongeBob
Pairing(s): SquidBob
Genre: Romance/ Drama
Word Count: 3, 378
He awoke to the sensation of a thin, cold thumb on his palm, which gently trailed over the vein in his wrist, checking his pulse. He didn’t remember what had happened or where he was. His eyes snapped open and he darted them through the room, trying to make out his surroundings. Everything was dark but it seemed familiar. There was the fresh scent of snail litter nearby. When his eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, he came to the sudden realization that he was home. Home. Wherever that was now. He sat up so quickly that whoever was at his bedside, their ice-cold finger still on his arm, recoiled a bit. ‘’Patrick! Sandy!’’ Where were they? What happened to them? His first thought was to bol
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 11 30
SquidBob- Written in the Stars
Written in the Stars
Summary: Following ‘’Super Sea Star Savior’’, Squidward confronts SpongeBob about Patrick.
Rated: T for Teen; 13+
Characters: SpongeBob, Squidward, Sandy
Pairing(s): SquidBob, slight PatBob
Genre: Friendship/ Hurt/ Comfort/ Drama
Word Count: 1, 691
‘’Stars are prismatic—palpitating—elusive. It is not often we find one made of flesh and blood...stars are said to dwell apart, anyhow, sufficient unto themselves —ensphered in their own light.’’
-L.M. Montgomery, Emily of New Moon (268-70)
‘’What? You two aren’t talking?’’ Squidward had stopped SpongeBob and Sandy just right outside town. He stood in his typical uncharacteristic nervous stance, hands on hips, all four legs bent slightly. SpongeBob shook his head and grabbed Sandy’s hand, pushing past the grouchy green octopus. ‘’C’mon, you’
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 11 11
PatBob- More than Our Parts
More than Our Parts
Summary: Patrick thought he had everything he wanted: respect, followers, what else did he need? But he soon realizes he’s missing a piece of his heart.
Rated: T for Teen; 13+
Characters: Patrick, Squidward
Pairing(s): PatBob, slight Patward (Squidrick?) Ah fuck it.  
Genre: Romance/ Friendship/ Comfort/ Drama
Word Count: 1, 967
‘’Dammit,’’ Patrick hollered, careful not to pound his bear-like fists into the nearby wall, where Squidward’s most prized portrait hung—although he wanted to, very much so—‘’I think-‘’
‘’Patrick,’’ Squidward rudely interrupted, completely disregarding the other’s feelings, ‘’You don’t think at all.’’
‘’-I’m falling in love with him,’’ Patrick finished, talking over Squidward. Just then, Squidward looked concerned. Not acting<
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 12 20
miles w. | 23 | human sponge

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 photo tumblr_nygk7gfAXm1u4cbzdo1_500_zps5iotraht.gif

I spent my whole life looking at reflections in doorknobs

-Miles W.

Batman Button by ButtonsMaker

''And someday the earth must die as the Lord wills it
And rockets must never land on the moon
But Man will still try
Because he knows nothing else.''

-Miles W.

Spongebob Squarepants-PatBob Stamp by SkunkyNoid Squidbob Stamp by SkunkyNoid (Request) Spandy Stamp by SoraRoyals77 The GodFather Stamp by QaneaII H: Hamilton Logo Walk Animated Stamp by randomkiwibirds Suicide Squad Stamp by TytoTuesday Stamp: Mythology by FlantsyFlan Musicals stamp by BlindEyeball Respect Women by silent33
Patbob by Waackery Spandy by Waackery Squandy by Waackery Squidbob by Waackery

Shipping icons (c) Waackery

''When you're falling in a forest and there's nobody around. Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?''

when you're falling in a forest by JemiNZ

Percy Jackson and the Olympians quote by pervertedmind

 photo tumblr_oj5itz7GPf1qexuheo5_r1_250_zpsphroshxb.gif

''Bruce Lee, ya'll: Emotional content.''

 photo tumblr_ojj7ouTjMs1qexuheo1_500_zpsacdboyw5.png

Progress bars (c) Aqua-Spirit22
The SpongeBob Musical picture credit crazycrazyloren


Sketch :iconlinsketches:Linsketches 22 0 Find Your Voice :iconcrown-pup:crown-pup 16 1 Kanna :iconichigo-kun:Ichigo-kun 3 0 Cho Chang :iconjdnight:JDNight 10 6 We could happen :iconleariz:Leariz 58 11 Consistency :iconblazasco:blazasco 5 0
In Venus' Starlight
In Venus' starlight
I see my own dear fright
I see your reflection
Seeping into the stars
In Venus' starlight
Hush, the moon open its ear
The stars are rather shy, yet they shine
They'd rather you don't come near
In Venus' starlight
We're breathing all just the same
The stars align their scars
And call by your last name
Bigots, believers, bovinity
There's no such thing as vivid make-believe
Denouncers, dreamers, gazerby
There's so much more than a wispy sky
The starmen await your ears
In Venus' starlight
You look away to lunar dreams
Mineral profit in rocks
A very efficient plague
In Venus' starlight
Forget about notions of faith
Explore on the behalf of humanity
If you've no other reason to escape
In Venus' starlight
The sand takes a dramatic pose
The trees, deceitful, the cattle are poisoned
The spaceboys are speaking in prose
What you don't believe in, is always out there
Until you have felt its absence like air
You've not seen it all, you won't see it then
Its all you've got, so lo
:iconvisionarydreamscape:VisionaryDreamscape 6 0
A Winter Kitchen
I'm so tired, running away
To a New York street in the fray
But fret as its cold
Who could bear to sleep alone, in a home?
Pay my debts off, I'm getting by
Money talks and I'm telling lies
But its just nature, we'll never stop for yellow lights
It's not a sign that we're losing our way
Week for the drugstore, I see a face
All too familiarly replaced
That's how I know this city
For its gross, amazing change, sculpting today
Never settled, never asked why
Transit speeds too fast to remember doors
I have money I abuse, I've never seen it before
Love's labor chore
Hell freezes nowhere
Money is everywhere
Homes don't move at speeds of life
And that's a sign.
:iconvisionarydreamscape:VisionaryDreamscape 2 0
The two Amelies :iconwalt-sidney-1972:Walt-Sidney-1972 11 1 Episode 2 Promo of RM vs. TET :iconendo1357:Endo1357 6 0
Losing Her
She died because of you.
She was murdered.
It wouldn't have happened if not for you.
It wouldn't have happened if I had a choice.
You corrupted her.
She was doing her job.
You seduced her.
I was ten years old.
You're the one who made it all happen.
I'm the one who found her.
It was your fault. was my fault.
:iconcassidypeterson:CassidyPeterson 1 0
the creation and the creator :iconpharaoh-ink:Pharaoh-Ink 23 5 Venice #7 :iconfrostedqueen:FrostedQueen 4 1 we start with stars in our eyes :iconbraang:Braang 52 18 if i could tell him :iconbraang:Braang 33 22 connor and evan :iconbraang:Braang 22 8


Hey all midterms caught me so won't be updating with new stories till after midterms.


RolfEddFan's Profile Picture
Miles W.
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Hey all, my name is Miles W.

Nonbinary male

Human sponge. I write sometimes.

UPDATE: I'm gonna start focusing more on original fiction and one shots of other slash. I think I'm over the RolfEdd phase.

Icon credit: :iconcrazycrazyloren: from her SB Musical Blog on tumblr: beautifulbikinibottomday.tumbl…




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pedro-amaral-couto Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for adding the "Godfather, Vito Corleone caricature" onto your Favourites, Miles.
Llama Emoji-46 (This and That) 
WanderingInMyOwnMind Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you.
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2017   Digital Artist

Thank you for choosing AbsurdAir, your captain for this flight is KaidokJ. He has no license, can’t see well and is easily distracted so there’s good chance we’ll never make our destination. But since this whole flight metaphor is just a weak attempt at a humorous anecdote, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Ah damn, I crashed through the 4th wall.

Anyway, thanks for the watch. :happybounce:

I’m sure you regret your choice by now, considering this madness is basically what you signed up for, but since all tickets are non-refundable, welcome to Crazytown. Quarantine measures come into effect upon arrival. :psychotic: 


On a more serious note, here’s basically the run down. Posting regularly, free funny stories in most fav replies, and an intro to Kevin the Llama in the Llama Badge reply. Not every piece has a story written but DS prefix pics definitely do. Also, if you haven’t already heard, I’ve been designated Kevin Llamason’s official biographer, so you can check out what he’s been up to in The Kevin Chronicles. (Unfortunately “The Kevin Chronicles” are currently on hiatus, while Kevin gets a handle on his pinecone addiction. In the meantime I hope to experiment with a new format in the near future, so keep an eye out for that)

So that’s about it. Thanks again for flying AbsurdAir, and I hope you enjoy the ride.  

Agent-Upsilon Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for faving!!!!
FoxfromWonderland Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2017  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you very much for +watch!! <3
Endo1357 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave! :D
catpug Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you so much for the watch!!
Shining-Scribe Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Hello there! Thank you very much for choosing to join :iconunseen-writers:. Feel free to submit your written works to our gallery and help yourself to sampling the works of other writers our gallery has to offer. A writing prompt, our theme of the week, is produced every Monday to help provide creative inspiration. I hope we'll be able to help you grow as a writer. Heart
RolfEddFan Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome and thanks!
Thank you kindly for the recent favorite and the watch! Your support is greatly appreciated :)
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