Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Literature / Hobbyist Miles W.Other/Canada Group :iconspongenextdoor: SpongeNextDoor
Are you ready to rock?
Recent Activity
Deviant for 2 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 37 Deviations 367 Comments 2,539 Pageviews
×

Newest Deviations

Literature
Squandy- You're a Pretty Squid
You’re a Pretty Squid
Summary: When Squidward finds a bunion on his left foot, he pays Sandy a visit, who gets the massage of a lifetime (shitty summary is shitty).
Rated: T for Teen; 13+
Characters: Squidward, SpongeBob, Sandy
Pairing(s): Squandy
Genre: Romance/ Friendship
Word Count: 10, 061
He was developing a bunion on one of his left feet, he could clearly see that. He noticed it first thing when he showered this morning. There came an excruciating pain the moment his skin came into contact with the water blasting hard on him. When he looked down at the source of his pain, he saw a bony bump forming on the joint at the base of his big toe, which caused all his toes to push up against one another as they aligned to the left. It was from all that practice, he gathered. There was a tap dance audition coming up for a filmed (but non-airing) mock audition for a local webseries called Asian Pear Migraine, and despite how tired he w
:iconRolfEddFan:RolfEddFan
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 22 29
Literature
Squidward/Squilliam- We Sang Yellow Bird
We Sang Yellow Bird
Summary: Squilliam invites SpongeBob and Squidward to dinner.
Rated: T for Teen; 13+
Characters: Squilliam, SpongeBob, Squidward
Pairing(s): None
Genre: Rivalry/Friendship
Word Count: 5, 086
Squidward, with his slim build and lanky arms, stood gazing at himself in the mirror. He didn’t own anything fancy so he had merely thrown on a royal blue Knightsbridge cardigan over a grey V-neck T-shirt over a white and red checker collared shirt accented with a red tie that he bought in the Queen’s favorite shop on Piccadilly years ago upon a visit to London. It wasn’t exactly Sloane Ranger, but it was the closest ‘’preppy’’ outfit he owned to a Barbour jacket. Yes, he knew that any jackass could run to Target and pick up the same outfit for less than $20, and this betrayed the real deal. He just hoped Squilliam Fancyson wouldn’t comment on the lack of his Prada. Yes, Squilliam, h
:iconRolfEddFan:RolfEddFan
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 17 20
Literature
Spandy- Be A Man
Be A Man
Summary: When Patrick abandons SpongeBob for a religious cult, Sandy decides to stay and help him climb Mt. Humongous. But tensions rise when the debate on what a man truly is bubbles to the surface.
Rated: T for Teen; 13+
Characters: Patrick, SpongeBob, Sandy
Pairing(s): Spandy, slight PatBob
Genre: Romance/ Drama
Word Count: 7, 947
Earlier that day he had been at Sandy’s, or what she called the ‘’Treedome’’, which was, as its name suggested, a tree from land inside a snow globe-like structure. She invited him over to test her jet-pack that she demonstrated that morning, which only malfunctioned slightly seeing as it was still a prototype, before the news of the coming eruption broke all over town. SpongeBob wanted to see if it would be sturdy enough to transport two people—only two for now, because Sandy had refused his offer to join his team, but he decided to use the opportunity during th
:iconRolfEddFan:RolfEddFan
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 25 25
Literature
Gather to Mourn Her
One day she left town with nothing but the clothes she was wearing
Perhaps reckless and sudden, but not uncaring
Maybe she had a suitcase but she packed her bags, up and left
Of her dignity and conviction, she felt wildly bereft
The bus came by and she got on, and that’s when it all began
Upon impulse or intuition, I suspected discord and ran
I told my best friend, ‘’We have to find her before she leaves for good,’’
By his quiet nature, he rightly believed in my will, that which he understood
We thought she’d be there, under her umbrella, waiting for us
But the bench was empty, there in the pouring rain, and we knew she left on the bus
‘’She’s gone,’’ he said, but though I felt tears choking me I refused to accede to wrath
We tried to follow her tracks, walk on her path
We knew she was going home
‘Where was she?’ we wonder’d, ‘Out there in the cold, preferring to haplessly wander and roam?
:iconRolfEddFan:RolfEddFan
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 20 11
Literature
SquidwardXPatrick- Turtle Totem
Turtle Totem
Summary: Turtles, duh. In all seriousness, Patrick tells Squidward the backstory behind his beloved sea turtle necklace.
Rated: T for Teen; 13+
Characters: Patrick, Squidward
Pairing(s): Squidrick (Patward?)...still not sure which one’s correct ;v;
Genre: Romance/ Drama/ Hurt/ Comfort/ Friendship
Word Count: 6, 599
SpongeBob was visiting his parent’s house that Sunday and so Patrick had nothing to do but lounge around in his underwear. He didn’t feel like T.V. so he went outside at the crack of dawn to watch the sun rise from the front lawn of his house. He loved nothing more than tuning out all modern distractions to feel like he was one with Mother Nature, in his underwear, no less. Of course, he didn’t count on Squidward being outside that day, sunbathing, which Patrick always felt was useless. The man had no color to him, no matter what he did. As Patrick came outside, he tried to ignore Squidward
:iconRolfEddFan:RolfEddFan
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 16 15
Literature
Know Your Worth
Yeah I never liked that old washer machine anyway
It never made me look like much
Shrunk too tight and faded colors to grey
Like thorns, too afraid to touch
But a mirror lined inside of the door
Showed me a different story
Now I ain’t afraid anymore
And that’s my allegory
Know your worth, yeah, baby
Know your worth
Ya’ll just gotta know your worth under the skin
And the world don’t take that away
One night I was up drinkin’ too late
Stumblin’ along the back road
Maybe it was will or just bad fate
But I gathered what I sowed
And then them trees was whisperin’:
‘’Don’t you dare slow down, boy’’
Maybe just my imagination but I was listenin’
And I felt no deeper joy
Know your worth, yeah, baby
Know your worth
Ya’ll just gotta know your worth under the skin
And the world don’t take that away
My sister wore her wedding dress
To her husband’s funeral
I’d say ‘’God Bless’&
:iconRolfEddFan:RolfEddFan
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 5 0
Literature
Confluence
Blue lips and yellow nail polish
Glamour and confidence
She came as no novice
Young as she was, still yet in adolescence
Green lips and orange nail polish
Men who trailed her garments
Complete manhood, decadence
In French, they proclaimed her, ‘’A goddess!’’
Purple lips and red nail polish
To the island’s populous
She rose to prominence
But then one day no one ever saw her again.
:iconRolfEddFan:RolfEddFan
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 4 0
Literature
Reflections in Doorknobs
I spent my whole life looking at reflections in doorknobs
A reflection I don’t see
Distorted and appearing in the most surprising of places
Two days ago on a rainy day in a Paris bar
We spoke of music
He offered me his CD
I listened to his song on repeat on the flight back home
I’d thank him again for such a nice gift
Happy to wish him a welcome in France
And a good return in his land
I spent my whole life looking at reflections in doorknobs
A reflection I don’t see
Distorted and appearing in the most surprising of places
Walls—think marble and stone
Ain’t no shadows on them walls tonight
Nobody walks through the door
Dust in the tub
And mama’s blue apron soiled with rain
‘Cause the milkman don’t come by no more
Oooooh oooooh
I spent my whole life looking at reflections in doorknobs
A reflection I don’t see
Distorted and appearing in the most surprising of places
The next time we meant he gave me a box
But he told me not to op
:iconRolfEddFan:RolfEddFan
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 7 6
Literature
SquidBob/PatBob- 30/90
30/90
Summary: It’s SpongeBob’s twenty-fifth birthday, prompting Squidward to end their relationship.
Rated: T for Teen; 13+
Characters: Patrick, SpongeBob, Sandy, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Pearl
Pairing(s): SquidBob, PatBob, uuuuuh Golden Trio  
Genre: Romance/ Drama/ Hurt/ Comfort/ Friendship
Word Count: 6, 777
You come upon a bird in a pretty cage
You feel all its sadness, all its rage
A latch to open doors with moving parts
You hold the key but you just walk away
And life is much harder than you thought
Love can't be tamed and it can't be caught
And still it sings a song for your heart
You decide you want its wings, so you cut them off
And still it sings a song for your blackened heart
You decide you want its wings, so you cut them off
And life is so much harder than you thought
You come upon a bird in a pretty cage
This time you will help it to escape
A latch to open doors with moving parts
You turn the key and watc
:iconRolfEddFan:RolfEddFan
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 18 20
Mature content
SquidBob- Touch Me :iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 22 22
Mature content
SquidBob- The Taste of Honey :iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 17 15
Literature
Soundness of Monsters
Who knows the hearts of dragons
For they fall as leaves in Autumn
Once a year, one by one
No one knows if their hearts will ever love again
If they ever loved at all
Perhaps they only played and bantered
Fooling even the most fair of maidens and brave of knights
Into believing they weren't worn
Or bloodthirsty for their offspring
And for battle, which abides encumbrance
Yet not even the wise woman knows which burden lay heavy in their hearts of steel
Or hearts of flesh
But if one were to look at flowers in the mirror
A reflection in the lake which bore blossoms
Each petal floating, although one but which drowned
Watch as it disappears as the dragons did
And no one will ever know for certain whether they existed among Man
If they lived once then they perished as we all do
Just a breeze that floats by but is never seen again
Forgotten and left to roam the earth as a lonely cloud  
And someday the earth must die as the Lord wills it
And rockets must never land on the moon
But Man
:iconRolfEddFan:RolfEddFan
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 11 4
Literature
SquidBob- True Art
True Art
Summary: The Mayor of Bikini Bottom commissions Squidward to carve a sculpture of SpongeBob to honor his heroism in saving their town.
Rated: T for Teen; 13+
Characters: SpongeBob, Squidward, the Mayor
Pairing(s): SquidBob, slight Squandy
Genre: Romance/ Drama
Word Count: 4, 598
A month passed after the near eruption.
During Bikini Bottom’s Reconstruction period, the Mayor had asked Squidward into her office on a Sunday afternoon (which he was more than happy to oblige—after all, if the Mayor personally requests you, it must be important) and to his gratification, she offered him a commission. He perked up at the word ‘’commission’’, thinking this was his long-deserved reward for organizing that stupid concert, but his parade was soon rained on by the mention of the name ‘’SpongeBob’’. Of course. Any shard of happiness he ever had always had to be spoiled
:iconRolfEddFan:RolfEddFan
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 16 24
Literature
PlanktonXKaren- The Sun Goes on Rising
The Sun Goes on Rising
Summary: Karen and Plankton spend the last night of the world together.
Rated: T for Teen; 13+
Characters: Plankton, Karen, SpongeBob
Pairing(s): PlanktonXKaren
Genre: Romance/ Drama
Word Count: 3, 260
Karen had been watching SpongeBob, unbeknownst to him, crouched safely behind a rock in Jellyfish Fields. She watched the young man walk through the grass slow and sad, shoes dangling at his side in one hand, his white socks now stained green at the soles of his feet. She didn’t mean to spy on him, but she had been on her way home that evening, but decided to take a detour in the opposite direction. She heard the high and lonesome sound of her husband coming for her to bring her home to his laboratory, and not wanting to face him just yet, she hid in Jellyfish Fields where she happened upon the little yellow sea sponge in his plaid shorts, polka dot tie, and yellow schoolboy sweater vest. She always had a soft
:iconRolfEddFan:RolfEddFan
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 20 31
Mature content
SquidBob- Gentlemen Prefer Sponges :iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 11 16
Literature
SquidBob- Flowers
Flowers
Summary: Squidward nurses SpongeBob back to health in the aftermath of Mt. Humungous.
Rated: T for Teen; 13+
Characters: Squidward, SpongeBob
Pairing(s): SquidBob
Genre: Romance/ Drama
Word Count: 3, 378
He awoke to the sensation of a thin, cold thumb on his palm, which gently trailed over the vein in his wrist, checking his pulse. He didn’t remember what had happened or where he was. His eyes snapped open and he darted them through the room, trying to make out his surroundings. Everything was dark but it seemed familiar. There was the fresh scent of snail litter nearby. When his eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, he came to the sudden realization that he was home. Home. Wherever that was now. He sat up so quickly that whoever was at his bedside, their ice-cold finger still on his arm, recoiled a bit. ‘’Patrick! Sandy!’’ Where were they? What happened to them? His first thought was to bol
:iconRolfEddFan:RolfEddFan
:iconrolfeddfan:RolfEddFan 11 30
miles w. | 23 | human sponge



F2U Writing progress bar ??% by Aqua-Spirit22 F2U Writing progress bar 0% by Aqua-Spirit22 F2U Writing progress bar 10% by Aqua-Spirit22 F2U Writing progress bar 20% by Aqua-Spirit22 F2U Writing progress bar 30% by Aqua-Spirit22 F2U Writing progress bar 50% by Aqua-Spirit22 F2U Writing progress bar 60% by Aqua-Spirit22 F2U Writing progress bar 70% by Aqua-Spirit22 F2U Writing progress bar 80% by Aqua-Spirit22 F2U Writing progress bar 90% by Aqua-Spirit22 F2U Writing progress bar 100% by Aqua-Spirit22

 photo tumblr_nygk7gfAXm1u4cbzdo1_500_zps5iotraht.gif



I spent my whole life looking at reflections in doorknobs

-Miles W.



Batman Button by ButtonsMaker



''And someday the earth must die as the Lord wills it
And rockets must never land on the moon
But Man will still try
Because he knows nothing else.''

-Miles W.



Spongebob Squarepants-PatBob Stamp by SkunkyNoid Squidbob Stamp by SkunkyNoid (Request) Spandy Stamp by KittyJewelpet78 The GodFather Stamp by QaneaII H: Hamilton Logo Walk Animated Stamp by randomkiwibirds Suicide Squad Stamp by TytoTuesday Stamp: Mythology by FlantsyFlan Musicals stamp by BlindEyeball Respect Women by silent33
Patbob by Waackery Spandy by Waackery Squandy by Waackery Squidbob by Waackery
Squandy Stamp by Waackery

Shipping icons (c) Waackery



''When you're falling in a forest and there's nobody around. Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?''

when you're falling in a forest by JemiNZ

Percy Jackson and the Olympians quote by pervertedmind




 photo tumblr_oj5itz7GPf1qexuheo5_r1_250_zpsphroshxb.gif

''Bruce Lee, ya'll: Emotional content.''


 photo tumblr_ojj7ouTjMs1qexuheo1_500_zpsacdboyw5.png

Progress bars (c) Aqua-Spirit22
The SpongeBob Musical picture credit crazycrazyloren

Favourites

value by Malwur value :iconmalwur:Malwur 6 0 stickler for tradition by Malwur stickler for tradition :iconmalwur:Malwur 11 0 .:.C.:. Lovin' You by MissInspi .:.C.:. Lovin' You :iconmissinspi:MissInspi 29 8 Indian Dancer by Danger-Jazz Indian Dancer :icondanger-jazz:Danger-Jazz 15 2 Indian Dancer - Concept by Danger-Jazz Indian Dancer - Concept :icondanger-jazz:Danger-Jazz 13 0 HE LIFTS by MissInspi HE LIFTS :iconmissinspi:MissInspi 55 21 D o n ' t   U n d e r s t a n d  by Rick-Elfen D o n ' t U n d e r s t a n d :iconrick-elfen:Rick-Elfen 15 4 fallout by Malwur fallout :iconmalwur:Malwur 19 0 nirvana by Malwur nirvana :iconmalwur:Malwur 13 0 mastermind by Malwur mastermind :iconmalwur:Malwur 12 0 michael in the bathroom by Malwur michael in the bathroom :iconmalwur:Malwur 17 4 to somehow find a way by crazycrazyloren to somehow find a way :iconcrazycrazyloren:crazycrazyloren 6 0 frumpy gf + fashion gf by crazycrazyloren frumpy gf + fashion gf :iconcrazycrazyloren:crazycrazyloren 6 2 Collab: Khoi x Julie by Decora-Chan Collab: Khoi x Julie :icondecora-chan:Decora-Chan 152 20 sincerely me by Braang sincerely me :iconbraang:Braang 57 7 Cabinet Meetings by axolotlsketches Cabinet Meetings :iconaxolotlsketches:axolotlsketches 189 30

Groups

Hey all, I made a SpongeBob Musical group, check it out ---> :iconspongenextdoor:

deviantID

RolfEddFan's Profile Picture
RolfEddFan
Miles W.
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Canada
Hey all, my name is Miles W.

Nonbinary male
Gay
He/him

Human sponge. I write sometimes.

UPDATE: I'm gonna start focusing more on original fiction and one shots of other slash. I think I'm over the RolfEdd phase.

Icon credit: :iconcrazycrazyloren: from her SB Musical Blog on tumblr: beautifulbikinibottomday.tumbl…

Interests

Friends

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconwaackery:
Waackery Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2017
Sorry to bother, but it's ok to request a squidward/sandy fanfic?
I see you like the pairing like me, so I wondered if it was ok to ask <3
Reply
:iconrolfeddfan:
RolfEddFan Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Sure!
Do you have anything specific in mind?
Reply
:iconwaackery:
Waackery Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2017
Aw, not really! Do as you like! <3
Reply
:iconrolfeddfan:
RolfEddFan Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Okie dokie. :)
I'll start on it ASAP.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconpedro-amaral-couto:
pedro-amaral-couto Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for adding the "Godfather, Vito Corleone caricature" onto your Favourites, Miles.
Llama Emoji-46 (This and That) 
Reply
:iconwanderinginmyownmind:
WanderingInMyOwnMind Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you.
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2017   Digital Artist

Thank you for choosing AbsurdAir, your captain for this flight is KaidokJ. He has no license, can’t see well and is easily distracted so there’s good chance we’ll never make our destination. But since this whole flight metaphor is just a weak attempt at a humorous anecdote, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Ah damn, I crashed through the 4th wall.

Anyway, thanks for the watch. :happybounce:

I’m sure you regret your choice by now, considering this madness is basically what you signed up for, but since all tickets are non-refundable, welcome to Crazytown. Quarantine measures come into effect upon arrival. :psychotic: 

 

On a more serious note, here’s basically the run down. Posting regularly, free funny stories in most fav replies, and an intro to Kevin the Llama in the Llama Badge reply. Not every piece has a story written but DS prefix pics definitely do. Also, if you haven’t already heard, I’ve been designated Kevin Llamason’s official biographer, so you can check out what he’s been up to in The Kevin Chronicles. (Unfortunately “The Kevin Chronicles” are currently on hiatus, while Kevin gets a handle on his pinecone addiction. In the meantime I hope to experiment with a new format in the near future, so keep an eye out for that)

So that’s about it. Thanks again for flying AbsurdAir, and I hope you enjoy the ride.  

Reply
:iconagent-upsilon:
Agent-Upsilon Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for faving!!!!
Reply
:iconfoxfromwonderland:
FoxfromWonderland Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2017  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you very much for +watch!! <3
Reply
:iconendo1357:
Endo1357 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave! :D
Reply
Add a Comment: